Back at the Beach

A couple weeks ago I mentioned to Tyler we do not go to the beach enough. We literally live 3 miles from a gorgeous beach. Why don't we go more often? He took me up on my challenge and we have gone to the beach the last two Saturdays and it was a blast! 

This last time we went was a little later in the day and Tidus was not in the mood to play. In true baby fashion, he fell asleep a few minutes before we parked the car. Therefore he was perfectly content to sit on the blanket and people watch. 

Tyler is bound and determined to get Ted comfortable with the ocean. Being only 36 inches tall, any wave is a potential for being knocked down. So Ted is terrified. Plus the crashing waves are pretty darn loud. 

By the end of the day Ted was having a blast jumping in the water and splashing daddy. 

I carried Tidus down to the water. He screamed at me until I took him back to this blanket. This is him given me the stink eye for daring to remove him from his nice warm spot. 

After a while Tidus began to throw sand onto the blanket so I kicked him off onto the beach and began burying his lower half. He had so much fun being buried in the sand that when Ted came to dig him out he gave a glare and pushed Ted away. 

Ted and Tidus being brothers

I love making music videos. For me, it is more fun to go back and binge watch all the music videos that I have made than watching plain family videos. But there will come a day when I wish I had more audio to listen to the kids cute little baby voices. I took a few minutes yesterday to capture Ted and Tidus playing together and showing their personalities.

A Charlotte Mason Homeschool

I believe I have found the perfect homeschool method for our family. It is called the Charlotte Mason method. She was an educator from England in the 18-1900s whose style based a child's learning on life more than dry text books. For my little guys she believed they should be spending as much time outside as possible learning from nature.

Mason wrote a 6 volume set describing her method so I can not possibly go into detail about all her theories but I will highlight some of the reasons I have chosen to educate my children using the Charlotte Mason method.

1. She places an emphasis on teaching habits to our children. She explains all the benefits of habits and we have already started this in our home. Taking shoes and hat off when you come inside, having a morning routine, holding doors for others, etc.

2. Lessons should be short. We already do this as well. Ted has a bit harder time in primary staying in his chair so each day we do "sitting practice" where the boys sit in their chairs and we sing a song, say a prayer, and I read them a short story. I try to keep this to 10 minutes. We also do short lessons with having preschool time.

3. Only read from good books not "twaddle". I love this too (especially since I am the one who has to read these books over and over). We have been (and by we I mean "I") have been making a greater effort to include high quality children's literature. Good Night Moon, My Father's Dragon, Blueberries for Sal.... just books that activate a child's thinking a little more...

4. Learning should be done through living books which are books written by someone who is passionate about the subject instead of learning from a textbook

5. memorizing... we already do this as well. Ted knows his 13 articles of faith

6. Spending as much time outside as possible and just letting the children be free to explore. This takes pressure off my to feel like I need to be constantly educating my kids and let them learn for themselves. Mason even tells moms to just stop talking and let the kids go. But she does add that you can have still teach your kids a small lesson. It is just not your job to entertain them when they are outdoors. Let nature do the entertaining.


There is a ton more and I am still learning about all of this but so far I love it. I have made a greater effort to get the kids outside more... which can be difficult even on a sunny day because there is so much going on.

The Charlotte Mason style of education falls in line with being a minimalist too. It is minimalist education. There is no need to buy endless toys and materials to teach your child. You just need a library and an adventure and you are good to go.

Ted picking blueberries at Grammy Bear's house 2015

Tidus' Nose

Poor baby Tidus has always snored. It did not occur to me that this may be a problem until his pediatrician said babies are not supposed to snore at all. We were referred to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor to have him checked out.

The timing of this appointment was perfect because Tidus also apparently has an ear infection in the works so this saved us an additional trip to the doctor. We were given meds for the ear infection and meds to see if it would help with the snoring. The doctor thought it might be allergies/asthma or possible a result of enlarged tonsils in which case he may have to have them removed. I just hope we can figure this out because it would be sad for him to go all his life dealing with trouble breathing.

Ted's Maps and More on Minimalism

Ted loves maps. When we read books that have a map in the beginning he loves looking at it and tracing all the routes with his finger. He also loves treasure hunts. Yesterday he asked for paper and crayons so he could draw a map with he and Tidus. I am not sure where the map is supposed to lead but he is pretty proud of himself. 

 I am still in the process of minimizing our home. This is not an attempt to rid us of all our worldly possessions but I would just like to feel like we are abandoning some of the clutter that bogs me down. As I walked a certain blanket to the front door in the "to go" pile, Ted noticed and became upset saying he wanted it. He has never even seen this blanket before because it has been stored in a closet for the 3 years since it was given to him. (It is not a sentimental/homemade blanket) I told him no and he became even more distraught until I suggested he pull out some of the many other blankets he has and build a fort. And TADA! What seemed so important in the moment was quickly abandoned for a much better activity.

This is how most of our STUFF has made it into our home. I am guilty of this too. In the moment it seems like this item, whatever it is, is so essential to our lives that we must have it. If we step back and take note of what we already posses we can find joy in our current state instead of needing to fill the void with... junk.

Embracing MINIMALISM

It is going to be a year full of changes with a lot less STUFF. Our family is full on embracing the minimalist lifestyle. This means having a lot less stuff to fill up your home and using that emptiness to create peace and order, not to mention saving headaches and money.

Also with our pending move on the horizon, the idea of packing up less possessions is a dream.

I think I was born to be a minimalist. Looking back at my college years I would take the very bare essentials with me. Upon returning home to a room full of stuff I would wonder why I needed any of it since I had just made it an entire year without it.

Of course the usual reasons force a person to hold onto to stuff. There is guilt, worry, sentiment and the big question of "what if?"  We are letting go of all of it and thinking practically. I am over joyed to say Tyler is totally on board. He has been so amazing and supportive and gladly share things he think I should get rid of.

The point here is that life is short and I want to spend it gaining experiences with my family not stuff. This embracing of minimalism has had the unexpected side effect of helping us save money. We have always had trouble sticking with a budget. We tell ourselves, okay we need to stop spending money!! And then we go to the store and buy more things thinking we need them. Now we look at it from a different angle. We don't need to bring more stuff into our home to clutter it up and BAM we dont spend the money. We even walked around Target while our oil was getting changed and did not buy ANYTHING WHAAAt????

I am hoping we are also passing along a lesson to our boys that they don't need all these things to be happy. All we take with us is our memories so we better make some great ones!!

No Baby

New Years was an exciting time for the Opfar family. On New Years Eve I found out I was pregnant and so excited. We had been trying for about 6 months which was longer than it had taken for any other pregnancy. What made the experience even more special was it being our last evening visiting family in Washington before we came home to California so we were able to share the glad news with both sets of grandparents and Aunt Elspeth in person. I also immediately texted Miranda to let her know.

The OB doctor won't see you until you are about 8 weeks so I still had some waiting to do before I could get in to see a picture of my little one. By the end of January the appointment was set. I pumped Ted up for the appointment by telling him we were going to be seeing a picture of the baby inside mommy's tummy. We already had told him there would be another baby joining the family but the idea of going to the doctor and seeing the baby put Ted over the moon excited.

Unfortunately it was not meant to be this time. When the doctor did the vaginal ultrasound he could find the sac where the baby should be but no baby in it. It would be a miscarriage. Since this appointment I have done a bit of internet research and it sounds like a blighted ovum which means I was pregnant but my body figured there was something wrong with the pregnancy so it stopped developing the fetus. I was sad but I held it together while the doctor and I discussed the next steps. I don't like getting emotional in front of doctors.

The worst part of the day was Ted's reaction. As I climbed down from the table to get dressed Ted asked where was the baby. I told him there is not going to be a baby and I will explain more once we get outside. Of course this is not acceptable to a 3 year old. He kept asking over and over what I meant and began to get upset. Again I pleaded with him to wait until we left the office because I knew I could not give him more details without bursting into tears. He held off on his questions and I quickly left the office after scheduling a follow up for a week later.

Then we got to the car and Ted started to cry. Ugh... it was so much worse than anything I was feeling. I explained that we thought there was a baby but it turns out we won't be having one right now. Ted responded, "But I want a baby! Where is our baby?" I told him we will just have to be patient and try again, he said he did not want to try again he wanted another baby. Eventually he calmed down when we decided to go swimming once we got home to take our minds off things.

That night at bedtime I could tell Ted was still upset. I even think he believed we left the baby at the doctor's office or the doctor did something to take our baby. My explanation became trying to tell Ted that babies come to us from Heaven. All families have different numbers of babies that have come from heaven. Some have 4, some have more and we just have 2 babies from heaven right now and I held up my 2 fingers. Ted reached out and pulling up a third finger on my hand he said cheerfully, "Yeah but I want 3 babies." So I think now he understands that there is no longer a baby in mommy's tummy but hopefully soon we will have another baby join our family.

I am so happy to have Ted and the wonderful little boy he is! So to any little babies up in heaven who want to join our family, just know that you have a big brother waiting for you and he is so excited to meet you!