Ted's Maps and More on Minimalism

Ted loves maps. When we read books that have a map in the beginning he loves looking at it and tracing all the routes with his finger. He also loves treasure hunts. Yesterday he asked for paper and crayons so he could draw a map with he and Tidus. I am not sure where the map is supposed to lead but he is pretty proud of himself. 

 I am still in the process of minimizing our home. This is not an attempt to rid us of all our worldly possessions but I would just like to feel like we are abandoning some of the clutter that bogs me down. As I walked a certain blanket to the front door in the "to go" pile, Ted noticed and became upset saying he wanted it. He has never even seen this blanket before because it has been stored in a closet for the 3 years since it was given to him. (It is not a sentimental/homemade blanket) I told him no and he became even more distraught until I suggested he pull out some of the many other blankets he has and build a fort. And TADA! What seemed so important in the moment was quickly abandoned for a much better activity.

This is how most of our STUFF has made it into our home. I am guilty of this too. In the moment it seems like this item, whatever it is, is so essential to our lives that we must have it. If we step back and take note of what we already posses we can find joy in our current state instead of needing to fill the void with... junk.

Embracing MINIMALISM

It is going to be a year full of changes with a lot less STUFF. Our family is full on embracing the minimalist lifestyle. This means having a lot less stuff to fill up your home and using that emptiness to create peace and order, not to mention saving headaches and money.

Also with our pending move on the horizon, the idea of packing up less possessions is a dream.

I think I was born to be a minimalist. Looking back at my college years I would take the very bare essentials with me. Upon returning home to a room full of stuff I would wonder why I needed any of it since I had just made it an entire year without it.

Of course the usual reasons force a person to hold onto to stuff. There is guilt, worry, sentiment and the big question of "what if?"  We are letting go of all of it and thinking practically. I am over joyed to say Tyler is totally on board. He has been so amazing and supportive and gladly share things he think I should get rid of.

The point here is that life is short and I want to spend it gaining experiences with my family not stuff. This embracing of minimalism has had the unexpected side effect of helping us save money. We have always had trouble sticking with a budget. We tell ourselves, okay we need to stop spending money!! And then we go to the store and buy more things thinking we need them. Now we look at it from a different angle. We don't need to bring more stuff into our home to clutter it up and BAM we dont spend the money. We even walked around Target while our oil was getting changed and did not buy ANYTHING WHAAAt????

I am hoping we are also passing along a lesson to our boys that they don't need all these things to be happy. All we take with us is our memories so we better make some great ones!!

No Baby

New Years was an exciting time for the Opfar family. On New Years Eve I found out I was pregnant and so excited. We had been trying for about 6 months which was longer than it had taken for any other pregnancy. What made the experience even more special was it being our last evening visiting family in Washington before we came home to California so we were able to share the glad news with both sets of grandparents and Aunt Elspeth in person. I also immediately texted Miranda to let her know.

The OB doctor won't see you until you are about 8 weeks so I still had some waiting to do before I could get in to see a picture of my little one. By the end of January the appointment was set. I pumped Ted up for the appointment by telling him we were going to be seeing a picture of the baby inside mommy's tummy. We already had told him there would be another baby joining the family but the idea of going to the doctor and seeing the baby put Ted over the moon excited.

Unfortunately it was not meant to be this time. When the doctor did the vaginal ultrasound he could find the sac where the baby should be but no baby in it. It would be a miscarriage. Since this appointment I have done a bit of internet research and it sounds like a blighted ovum which means I was pregnant but my body figured there was something wrong with the pregnancy so it stopped developing the fetus. I was sad but I held it together while the doctor and I discussed the next steps. I don't like getting emotional in front of doctors.

The worst part of the day was Ted's reaction. As I climbed down from the table to get dressed Ted asked where was the baby. I told him there is not going to be a baby and I will explain more once we get outside. Of course this is not acceptable to a 3 year old. He kept asking over and over what I meant and began to get upset. Again I pleaded with him to wait until we left the office because I knew I could not give him more details without bursting into tears. He held off on his questions and I quickly left the office after scheduling a follow up for a week later.

Then we got to the car and Ted started to cry. Ugh... it was so much worse than anything I was feeling. I explained that we thought there was a baby but it turns out we won't be having one right now. Ted responded, "But I want a baby! Where is our baby?" I told him we will just have to be patient and try again, he said he did not want to try again he wanted another baby. Eventually he calmed down when we decided to go swimming once we got home to take our minds off things.

That night at bedtime I could tell Ted was still upset. I even think he believed we left the baby at the doctor's office or the doctor did something to take our baby. My explanation became trying to tell Ted that babies come to us from Heaven. All families have different numbers of babies that have come from heaven. Some have 4, some have more and we just have 2 babies from heaven right now and I held up my 2 fingers. Ted reached out and pulling up a third finger on my hand he said cheerfully, "Yeah but I want 3 babies." So I think now he understands that there is no longer a baby in mommy's tummy but hopefully soon we will have another baby join our family.

I am so happy to have Ted and the wonderful little boy he is! So to any little babies up in heaven who want to join our family, just know that you have a big brother waiting for you and he is so excited to meet you!

Gardening week for preschool

The last two weeks we have been learning about creatures you find in the garden and why each one is helpful... or why you don't want certain creature in your garden. Then Ted and Tidus would make a little paper version of the creature and put it in "Ted's Garden". The last thing we talked about was the snail but Ted did not want to put it up on the wall because they are not good for your garden.

On the wall you can see we painted butterflies, made paper plate bees, played "pin the dot on the lady bug", made bejeweled flowers, flying birds out of traced hands and feet and a tube caterpillar.

The snail activity was a game where the kids put on a paper bag and pretended to be a snail and eat all the paper fruit on the floor. It was a kind of relay race.

According to Ted this is what he learned:

Bees buzz, caterpillars grow into butterflies, we didn't learn snails, snails just stay snails, ladybugs eat bad bugs, That was it.

Pics from the Opfar Christmas

This year for Christmas we made a trip back home to Washington to spend the holidays with our extended family. We decided to hold our own family Christmas the weekend before we left. 

The boys had matching pajamas but Ted had an accident in his the night before. He is completely potty trained but when teenagers at Target are taking their sweet time laughing and goofing off while we are waiting for a bathroom stall... Ted didn't make it. And I felt terrible. I should have asked the teenagers to hurry up or let us cut in the line... or had him pee on them... 

So here are the boys coming out with their first view of the tree with all the toys. 

 We like to unwrap the bigger toys and put them together. That way the kids can start playing right away. Plus you don't have two little people running around you and grabbing all the parts while you are trying to put together the world's most complicated plastic pieces.

 We spent the morning playing with toys, cleaning the house and then we went out to lunch. Later that day we saw the movie Moana. It was a fun family fake Christmas.

Ted's New Bike

Ted has pretty much mastered his balance bike so we (or Santa) thought it was time to upgrade him to an actual bike. The theory behind the balance bike is that your child should be able to go from a balance bike straight to a 2-wheeler. Completely bypassing the need for training wheels. 

What we did not take into consideration was the fact that his new bike is a lot bigger than his balance bike and he can just barely touch the ground while sitting. The training wheels were put on but hopefully his time in the balance bike will give him more confidence... who knows.. 

Today was a big day. Ted, Tidus, and I road bikes to story time! One of my Christmas presents was a baby seat for Tidus. The library is about a 30 minutes walk away and has quite a few major intersections and roads to be encountered. Ted did amazing! I was kind of a nervous wreck but Ted does really well with listening to what I tell him to do. Plus he knows his right from his left. 

The only down side is that by the time we got to story time Ted was so tired he just wanted to lie down while listening to the stories instead of dancing along. But he still made the long ride all the way home! 

The only thing Ted needs to work on is his ability to get started with his pedaling. On the way home Tidus had fallen asleep in his seep and Ted got stuck going up a curb. I scooted by bike up next to Ted to give him a shove up the hill and in doing so I lost control of my bike and it crashed onto its side. Tidus let out a loud cry and I quickly lifted the bike back into a vertical position. By the time I got myself back on my own bike Tidus had fallen back to sleep. Sheesh! I wish I could sleep that well. 

Ted's Favorite Part of the Day

Each day as our family sits around the dinner table we go to each person and have them share their favorite part of the day. We even ask Tidus. He usually babbles something like, "babbababa" so we just fill in what we assume he means... probably food... or bath time.

Today Tyler worked late, but fortunately he was able to go into work a little later than normal so the kids were able to see him, play a few games and wave him goodbye.

With just the boys and I at the dinner table I asked Ted what his favorite part of the day was. He said, "saying goodbye to daddy." When I questioned him on his reasoning he said it was because he liked saying goodbye to him.

I replied, "and you probably liked climbing on daddy's legs and keeping him from leaving."

"daddy said get off so I did, but then I got back on because I am silly."

Today I took the kids swimming in the hot tub in the rain, we went on a bike ride, I set up a few science experiments and art projects and we stayed up a little late to watch a movie, and Ted's favorite part of the day was saying goodbye to Daddy. It is one of those moments that puts life into perspective. All the activities I planned with the kids were fun and beneficial but the truly important things are the simple times with family.

watching The Lorax after bath time.